It's Saturday so I slept in today. I really deserved it. Apparently we are going to grandma's house for dinner tonight. That feels like it might put me on the spot somehow so I'm trying to enjoy a time out from Jessa-ness for now.
Being around Jessa's family has highlighted a few differences between our upbringings. Jessa's family is comfortably middle class. Her parents seem to have good jobs, they've got two cars - a Honda Civic and a Toyota SUV - and a nice house with room for their three kids. Jessa is the middle child between an older brother and younger sister. This has probably worked to my advantage. There's virtually no attention being paid to me.
Thinking back to where I was at this age, I was an only child, living halfway across town in a townhouse with my mom. Dad had moved to Alberta with his new wife. My aunt Debbie was over a lot, but mostly we were on our own, which meant I was on my own. For a lot of kids that age, it might be a doorway to getting into trouble, but for me it was a doorway to spending all my money on comics and DVDs and slushies at the Mac's down the street. I did get high on weekends sometimes, but other than that it was a lot of channel surfing, posting on forums, and boredom.
I almost always ate dinner in front of the TV. That's not allowed here except on Pizza Night, which is Friday.
God, my boobs are sore. I must have slept on them wrong or something. It's hard to resist the urge to just sit here massaging them but whenever I find myself touching them excessively I feel very... awkward.
At school, I've been spending time with Jessa's friends. Not necessarily on purpose, but they stick by me in class and at lunch. That's a good thing and a bad thing. Bad, because for the most part I would like to keep to myself through this experience, but that's probably not feasible. I also have already slipped up a little bit and said a few things the real Jessa wouldn't, but uh, what exactly are the consequences of that? Mild embarrassment? I guess they can sort of help me "stay in character" by giving me a lead to follow, but how much do I want to?
Teenage girls tend to be moody and mercurial anyway. So if Jessa wakes up one day with the disposition of a 29-year-old man... how weird is that really? I mean, without the time travelling.
As far as friends go, I suppose I could have done worse. Not surprisingly given who Jessa seems to be, her friends are not total superficial bimbos. It's weird because I actually somewhat recognize them, but not Jessa. There's Alicia Alden, who was short and arty. I'm probably only 5'5 here and she's nearly a head shorter. Very perky and positive about life. Then there's Erika Ali, who is taller than me. I actually remember her because by senior year she... well, how do I put this. She got a lot hotter. Maybe she left Jessa and the others behind a little bit, so that's why she sticks out because this isn't the crew I remember her hanging around. Right now she looks a little plain and tall but you can kind of see where her looks are developing. I feel weird saying that but I don't have a lot else to think about, besides mentally placing these people based on what I know about them. Lastly is Mary Wong, who I don't really remember either. Mary just arrived from Taiwan. Her English is good but she needs help with, like, expressions and other random words they don't teach you. She's very into math and science, probably unsurprisingly, but I think the language barrier makes her feel like she has to keep quiet a lot of the time.
There are absolutely no boys in Jessa's life. So much the better.
I don't mind these girls. We don't have a ton in common or anything - and definitely wouldn't have back then - but they aren't dumb, and won't bag on me for not wearing makeup or dressing in kind of a frumpy, gender-neutral fashion. I've been favoring jean/khaki shorts and baggy tees.
That's a comforting thought. If this had to happen, I definitely could have drawn worse in the "you are now a girl" category. I mainly only think about it when it's time to pee or wash or dress myself. Or when I'm going up or down stairs.
It's funny because you watch these movies where the guy becomes the girl and they end up having to get all feminized - wear lipstick, walk in heels - but... this isn't like that at all. I didn't become the cheerleader or anything. I just became a really, really anonymous person... who happens to be female.
I'm not saying I like it, but... things could be worse?
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