That's a reference to a song that's still a few years away.
I was able to get through the school days with the help of a bottle of Midol - helpful but not exactly a wonder drug. My period Jessa's period The period made me more distracted than usual, which I have mixed feelings about. I think it's over though.
I keep having this existential crisis. I have to sit through a full day of classes, day after day, learning stuff I already learned once (and forgot.) What is the point? Am I really just here to re-learn high school stuff? Am I here for a reason? If I do well, will I earn my way back to my real life? If I slag off the entire time, will it affect Jessa's life? Why isn't she here learning this stuff? When she comes back (if she comes back??) will she remember any of it?
I'm just baffled. The questions of why and how this happened to me lurk in the back of my brain at all times and there are no answers, no clues. So I have no choice but to go along with it. And that's miserable because school is boring and I would rather be anywhere else.
But I appear to be a 15-year-old girl so my options are extremely limited there.
Last week we had a test in math class. Today I found out I got a 45%, which frankly I'm impressed by since I was totally winging it but failing still doesn't feel good. What do you even say to that? I'm 14 years out of practice for Grade 10 Math, and I wasn't that good at it the first time. And I know for a fact that there is a slim chance calculating the area of a circle plays a very small role in most peoples' successes in life. I don't think I should have to care about passing math for Jessa (again, what value does it have if I'm doing the work for her?? Unless I'm here forever??) But I still felt shame because I did something and failed at it. This is the one thing I've got going on in life and I am doing it badly.
I guess I'd better hit the books. These tests are just going to keep coming.
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