Wednesday, September 25, 2002

She was a boy, he was a girl... can I make it anymore obvious?

Sorry, I couldn't resist, that joke has popped into my head too many times not to write it down. I've probably heard that song 50 times in the week I have been here. I forgot just how "everywhere" Avril was back in 2002. I remember getting really sick of it back then, but now it has this weird nostalgic edge to it.

Looking at her CD collection, Jessa's tastes tend toward boybands - Backstreet Boys, NSync, O-Town - as well as Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, Destiny's Child... usually teen girl 2000's stuff. The Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Michelle Branch. Oh man, I forgot about Michelle Branch. Her song with Santana is another one that is on the radio five times a day here in 2002. Mrs. Gilbert likes to listen to the pop station while she cooks and does dishes. 

Back when I was 15 the first time, I would have found these songs annoying and obnoxious (not to mention all the conversations with my friends about whether Avril was hot - sorry, I was a shallow jerk, like all teens.) I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or getting further away from it that makes me see it differently. The first time that bubblegum faux-punk guitar revved up and came up on the radio I got this hit of nostalgic buzz that made me go "Oh hell yeah, I am ready for this!" And now I just accept it as a fact of life. He's a boy, she's a girl, it's obvious, etc etc. It made me feel young again, that's for sure.

Since I'm still on my period (Jessa's period?) I'm feeling weird and emotional and raw. The cramps have subsided but the hormones are definitely doing something to me. I skipped writing last night because I just wanted to be by myself. I needed some comfort food so I went on LimeWire - I had forgotten about LimeWire, everything on the internet seems so primitive and unintuitive to me now - and downloaded the entirety of the White Stripes' White Blood Cells album and burned it to a CD so I could listen to it in her room on her discman. I had to actually think about what music I liked was available in 2002, but I guess there's a pretty extensive back catalog so I won't be missing my 2010's indie rock too much.

I'm not a music snob but it did used to be my job, and I was good at it. Hey, I've come to respect a good catchy pop tune too, and might someday dig into Jessa's collection. I just needed something that reminded me of high school in a good way. This is where my love of music started, which put me on the path to... wherever it is I ended up at 29. 

Back in these days, my tastes were a little more basic... pop punk bands like Blink-182 and Sum-41, classic rock like Zeppelin and Aerosmith, 80s rock like Poison and Motley Crue... I semi-ironically liked Bon Jovi because we all loved to sing along to "Livin on a Prayer." This was the album that put me on the path to the hipster crowd. It was the first thing I liked that my friends didn't, because they didn't get the guitar-and-drums thing.

I don't know if the word "hipster" has been coined yet in 2002 but it would take a while to explain.

Listening to "my" music helps me cope with my situation. I don't know whether to say I'm "a kid again" or if I'm just playing a part, but hearing "Offend In Every Way" puts me in touch with 15-year-old Andy.

And of course hearing "The Same Boy You've Always Known" hits very differently now that I am a person who gets a period. Excuse me while I go bury my head in my pillows and weep some more. 

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