Tech

Ever since I got here, I felt like I've been missing a really important part of me. Something that defines me to my very soul and used to consume my waking days. It really took some getting used to not to be able to hold it in my hand whenever I wanted to, and there are a lot of times I'm sad that I don't have it and can't get it back. But it's also a little bit nice not to worry about having it in my pocket at all times.

I'm talking about my phone.

In the not-too-distant future, people are phone obsessed. It's not even seen as anything abnormal, but it's taken over our lives. Everyone is online at all times, available at all times, connected at all times. If you need to know something and you're in a bar or in the backseat of a cab, you just look it up. If you need to reach your friend, you shoot them a text.

It's been strangely hard, psychologically, to dial it back from that. Having such a huge focus on tech in the 2010's is definitely advantageous but it wasn't until I came back here that I realized how different things used to be. Scrolling through your phone -- looking at apps like Twitter or Facebook... oh lord, don't make me explain what those are -- is the default activity for people when they're just sitting around. We are constantly getting each others' information, just as our own entertainment, to stave off boredom. 

It's not a bad thing, and it has a ton of advantages by spreading new ideas and information, but it comes with a ton of drawbacks and it does seem to be warping people, bringing out the worst in them. It's so easy to just get in front of someone's face and say something shitty to them and not care about the consequences. 

Plus, other peoples' lives are our entertainment, and worse, they fill us with despair because everyone else seems to have it better. And that's before you get into all the misinformation and confusion that gets spread so easily these days-- I mean, those days. In future-times. The internet is no longer just the territory of people like me who have too much time on their hands. It's life. You know how in the 90s it was a stereotype that only friendless nerds were on the internet? Imagine hot girls creating empires out of makeup tutorials and videos of them opening boxes.  

I feel like I'm describing just some crazy dream I just had, but I assure you, it's all real, and it's coming for you.

By comparison, my month as Jessa (oh wow has it been that long already??) has been like rehab. I have been detoxifying from technology. When I was first cut off from the level of chatter that we're all used to in the future, I was really anxious. I would think like "What's going on in the world? What can I search, what can I refresh?" before remembering that I didn't have any of those tools at my disposal anymore. The internet still exists here in 2002... and I admit I have visited a few discussion boards just for a laugh (keeping my identity ambiguous because I believe that if you admit you are female online it's like asking for too much attention.)

But mostly, my mind has started to re-adjust back to normal. I am not worried about what I'm missing out on my social media "feeds" (again, this sounds so nightmarish and dystopian when I try to describe it to you) because those feeds don't exist yet. Nothing is happening. I mean, things are happening, but they're not for me to know or care about. And maybe that's the way the world should be. Maybe we took a wrong step somewhere in the future.

In contrast, it's helped me foster the bonds with the few people I have been close with in this life - Erika, Alicia, and Mary. When I am permitted computer time, I chat with them on MSN Messenger (if they happen to be around) and we even exchange long email chains describing the day, which have been so helpful to me in adjusting and getting caught up on who I'm supposed to be.

I think maybe in the future, we cast our net too wide, give too much of ourselves to too many people, or expect too much constant stimulation, distraction, information overload.

But, I'm sorry to say, again... it's coming. There's really not many ways around it.

Okay, I've got a math test to study for. If I get another D, I might find myself stripped of my computer privileges. Which is...... scary.